The Parent Night Kit
Three one-page handouts for parent nights, PTA meetings, and counselor offices. Print them, photocopy them, staple them to the agenda — no login, no email address, no catch. If you run a school newsletter or a resource page, you're welcome to link here or reprint these with the footer intact.
Five conversations that protect more than any setting
Every control can be bypassed by a motivated teenager. A kid who talks to you can't be. Have these five conversations before — or alongside — any parental-control setup.
1. "Nothing you show me will make me take the phone away."
The single highest-leverage sentence. Kids hide problems because they fear losing the device. If reporting a scary DM costs them their phone, they will stop reporting. Say it, then keep the promise.
2. "Anyone can pretend to be anyone."
A profile that looks like a 14-year-old can be anyone. The test isn’t how an account looks — it’s whether they ever pressure you for photos, secrets, or moving to another app.
3. "Photos are forever, even the disappearing ones."
Screenshots, second phones, saved stories. The honest rule: nothing leaves your phone that you couldn’t survive the whole school seeing.
4. "If a stranger asks to move the chat, that’s the alarm."
Grooming and sextortion almost always include a move — from the game to Snapchat, from Instagram to an encrypted app. Moving platforms is the tell. Agree they’ll show you, not handle it alone.
5. "You will see things you wish you hadn’t. Tell me."
Not an interrogation — an open door. Ask what their friends are watching and playing, not just what they are. The sideways question gets the real answer.
therundown.today — app risk profiles · setup guides · free 30-second safety check · no panic, no noise
The four-layer setup checklist
No single control is enough; the layers cover each other's gaps. Work top to bottom — an evening for the first three, ongoing for the fourth. Step-by-step guides for every platform: therundown.today/guides
Layer 1 — Account supervision (inside each app)
- Link your account to your kid's in each big app they use (Family Center on Instagram/Snapchat/TikTok, Family Pairing, Roblox parental controls).
- Set content filters to the strictest level that fits their age — most teen defaults are looser than you'd expect.
- Turn off contact from strangers wherever the app allows it (DMs from non-friends, friend suggestions, discoverability).
Layer 2 — Device lockdown (the phone, tablet, console, computer)
- Set up Screen Time (Apple) or Family Link (Android) with a parent PIN your kid doesn't know — it gates app installs, purchases, and age ratings.
- Do the same on consoles and computers: every gaming platform has family controls; so do Windows, macOS, and Chromebooks.
- Require your approval for new app downloads — vault apps and second accounts usually arrive as "just a calculator."
Layer 3 — Network filtering (the home Wi-Fi)
- Turn on family-safe DNS at the router (or a service like NextDNS) so every device on the Wi-Fi gets a baseline filter — including friends' phones and the smart TV.
- Remember its limit: network filtering stops at your driveway. Cellular data and other Wi-Fi networks bypass it — that's what layers 1, 2, and 4 are for.
Layer 4 — The conversation (the layer that can't be bypassed)
- Have the five conversations on Sheet 1 — and re-have them each school year; the apps change, the principles don't.
- Sign the family phone agreement on Sheet 3 — both sides.
therundown.today — app risk profiles · setup guides · free 30-second safety check · no panic, no noise
The family phone agreement
Two-sided on purpose: kids keep agreements they helped make and that bind the adults too. Read it together, edit anything, sign both lines.
I (the kid) agree:
- I'll tell a parent if anything online scares me, pressures me, or just feels off — even if I broke a rule getting there.
- I won't share photos, my location, or personal details with people I haven't met in real life.
- If someone asks me to move our chat to a different app, I'll treat it as a red flag and show a parent.
- The phone sleeps outside my bedroom. (Charging spot: ________________)
- I won't install apps that hide things — and if I already have one, telling you about it now costs me nothing.
I (the parent) agree:
- If you bring me something scary, my first move is to help — not to punish you or take the phone.
- I won't read your messages behind your back; if I'm worried enough to look, I'll tell you first.
- I'll follow the same table rules and bedtime-screen rules I ask of you. (Yes, really.)
- When you turn ________, we'll revisit every rule on this page together.
Signed (kid) · date
Signed (parent) · date
therundown.today — app risk profiles · setup guides · free 30-second safety check · no panic, no noise
Running a parent night?
Pair the handouts with the live tools: the 30-second safety check works on a projector, and the app risk catalog answers the "what about THIS app?" questions live. Spot something wrong or outdated? Tell us.